The moment you thought your season of waiting would last another year, it was over.
Leaves turned, mud thickened, the rain fell and you were free. Your old ways were broken, your sin erased, your past rewritten. When you go to the same places, they feel new. They are new. They are the sound of starting over.
Five years’ worth of hearing Me whisper, “the voyage,” and you believed you were on a journey, but all you ever did was land in the same place you started. This time, the grace is real, the healing is true, and the words don’t sound like being underwater. But I saw you here, I know you here, I showed you yourself here, and there was never a moment I questioned. In the wrestling, in the waiting, in the stripping down of everything you were not to reveal everything you are, this is. This is the moment.
As my eyes shift to sleep, I hear my name whispered in the darkness.
“Sophie,” He says, “Sophie.”
I know that voice too well to ignore it, and I roll over and glance toward the ceiling.
“I’m here,” I say.
“Goodnight,” He says, and I grin back at Him.
I feel more love than I have ever known. I feel more joy than I can imagine. I feel brave in my pajamas, snuggled up next to the seven stuffed animals in my bed.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I should have been here, alone, drifting off to sleep. But Jesus saved this day the same way He saved tomorrow, the same way He saved yesterday. He saved our entire future, completely in past tense. He changed our should-have-been, and gave us a here-you-are. There is no question if His grace can “keep up.” There is no day He has “forgotten” to love us. There is no day He has “denied” saving us. There is no day he has left us to suffer in our guilt, shame and regret. Our freedom has been completed. It is finished, we have the victory.
When the breakthrough comes, the unimaginable happens. Years of waiting bloom forth into fruit. What we do not expect, however, is the way our fruit produces more seeds, and the waiting begins again. The greatest treasure of the breakthrough, so very great in nature, is not the breakthrough itself. The greatest treasure is the waiting.
The post-breakthrough waiting is different. It walks in what we learn through the breakthrough. It walks in what we learned in the harvest. It walks in what we learned in the past tense. It walks in what we know in the victory.
The moment the breakthroughs come, the promises began again: I am loved. I am free. I am a child of God.
Even if we believe we know it now, He’ll reveal it even greater by the time the next breakthrough comes around.
He who began a good work will bring it to completion on the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). The waiting, beloved, is worth it.